Low risk isn’t no risk

A friend of mine recently asked if I had been sent a letter saying I was high risk because I was self isolating from the start 5 weeks ago. I haven’t. Officially I am classed as low risk despite having a heart operation at the end of last year. My daughter who also has a congenital heart issues is classed as low risk too.

Regardless we have been isolating to the maximum for the last 5 weeks and will continue to do so.

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Calm and still yet stormy – The lake at Colshaw Hall, Cheshire

Medical “experts”

I was told once before by medical “experts” that a daughter of mine should be treated as normal and wasn’t at increased risk of anything. She wouldn’t have any more reason to die than anyone else.  She died of the very thing they said not to worry about and the coroner said she has been at a greater compounded risk, so forgive me if I don’t trust the medical “experts” now especially given this is a new situation and a new virus they don’t really understand.

Make a mistake once…

and it becomes a lesson.  Make the same mistake twice and it becomes a choice.

My mistake was believing the medical experts when they said to treat my heart baby as a normal child.  She wasn’t a normal child.

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A Sleeping Aurora at 21 months

Not no risk

I’ve suffered the pain of losing not one but two children, so forgive me if I don’t want to risk losing another even if that risk is a low one.

Low risk means there is still a risk it’s not a no risk situation.   No one is at no risk of the corona virus remember that.

Is any risk worth it really?

What do you think?

Are you willing to gamble with these very high stakes?  I am not.

Stay safe everyone.  Hold your nearest and dearest close.

Big hugs

Sarah xx

Always Violet Skies

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It’s not about you

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Don’t survive thrive

 

 

 

It’s not about you

Yesterday I was in hospital with my daughter and they tried to take blood from her 5 times and failed.  It was horrendous having to hold her still while they inflicted pain onto her. Fortunately for her and me it was for some tests as an outpatient rather than them trying to get IV lines into her as a hospital admission.

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Aurora with fish at RMCH

If you have been through this with your child you will know how distressing it is.  Even more so if you have been through it with a child for weeks to have them then die at the end. This experience brought back many harrowing memories of my daughter Violet for me and has made me want to write this article and I hope you will take a few minutes to read it here goes…

It is not about you

There seems to be some people still frequenting public places and still having social gatherings. Those who aren’t practicing social distancing with an “it won’t happen to me. I’m low risk anyway” attitude.

I implore you to share the hell out of this article and ask people to do one thing and read this to the end.

4 years ago

Nearly 4 years ago if you had have asked me if my daughter would die from pneumonia I’d have said “what no chance they have medicines and hospitals to prevent that”. But guess what?  She died and the hospital nor us could save her. Think about that for a moment.

A disease the hospital knew all about; one that’s been around for hundreds and hundreds of years. One of the best children’s hospitals in the UK couldn’t save the life of a toddler. Think about that.

Violet-watching-tv-RMCH-Violet-Skies
Violet 3.5 years ago watching TV in Royal Manchester Children’s Hospital (RMCH)

Now I don’t tell you this for pity or for you to feel sad please read on.

Everything and anything

If you had told me or my husband that to save her we’d need to sign away our houses. We would have done just that. If you had have asked us to give away all our belongings and sign away any future earnings then we’d have done that too. We would have literally given everything and done anything to save her our beloved daughter. I know the rest of my family and close friends would have also. Think about that for a second.

I still remember the nightmare day she died and I still have nightmares and visions of it 3.5 years later. Again I don’t want you to feel sad or pity for me, just to keep reading and thinking.

Violet-exhausted-RMCH-violet-skies
Violet asleep in Royal Manchester Children’s Hospital (RMCH)

As my daughter was taking her last breaths and the doctors were fighting to try to save her. Four of my family members including myself were in that very room. I remember we were begging at this point. Yes we were begging and pleading with her to muster the strength to fight. We were pleading with the doctors to save her. We were pleading with whatever higher power there might have been to save her, even if it meant trading our own lives instead. Think about that for a minute.

We would have traded our lives all four of them for her one fragile beautiful little soul.

Stay home

So that’s it folks that’s what I wanted you to read not for pity. For the realisation that all you have to do to save someone’s child (everyone is someone’s child) is for you to stay away from others. You keep your distance and stay inside your homes in order to save a child. That’s it. You don’t have to give your life for theirs just stay home or at a distance and wash your hands.

Yes I know some of us have lost our livelihoods and money so I don’t want to belittle that but remember what I said that we’d have happily given absolutely everything, including our own lives, to save our daughter.

Ask anyone who has lost someone they loved more than anything, whether a child, partner, parent, sibling or friend what they would do or give to get them back. It would be a lot more than simply them staying at home or away from other people.

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Aurora digging in her sand pit after hospital yesterday

Hell

If it would bring my daughter back hell I’d move there. Yes to hell if she’d be alive again.

We’re not asking you to give everything or do a deal with the devil just stay home and away from others for maybe a few months. That’s it.

Isolation at this time will save lives and whilst you might think you’re ok it’s not about you. It really isn’t about you right now.

Do it for those you love because take it from me hell is going on living when someone you love more than life itself isn’t.   It can happen to you too I’m proof of that.

Trade your time for a life. For the life of a child.

Thanks for reading and thinking.  Thanks for your time.

Big love & hugs (virtual of course)

Sarah xxx

Other posts you might want to read are –

Don’t just survive thrive

Curve balls

Surviving after child loss