Santa and the Angel

A wonderful friend shared this today and it made me cry so I thought I would share on here. Unsure where is originally came from in order to credit so if it is yours then please let me know and I will add a credit on here.
Christmas grave 2019
Christmas grave 2019
“It was the night before Christmas and Santa was busy making his rounds
He was light on his feet making sure he didn’t make a sound.
But he took notice that some homes didn’t have that Christmas Glee.
so he decided to stop because he thought that just can’t be.
He crept in a mommy’s bedroom and stopped dead in his steps, as he saw a little angel hugging his mom as she slept.
The little angel looked up and cried ” oh Santa you are finally here!!
I’ve been waiting for you to help me let Mommy know I am near”.
Santa picked up the wee angel and asked him ” What can I do? I’m just a simple toy maker I can’t make your mommy’s dreams come true”.
So the two of them sat and they sat for a while until the tiny angel jumped up and screamed with a smile.
“let’s leave her a sign a beautiful sign from above,
let her know it’s from me sent from heaven with love”!!!
So Santa dug and he dug deep, in that big glorious bag that was filled with lots of treats .
He pulled out a beautiful white feather that look like it was made out of snow.
And he thought such a beautiful sign that only a grieving mother would know.
He placed it on her nightstand and kissed the angel on his head.
Then placed him next to his mom as she slumbered in bed.
I think I’ll stay here with Mommy and visit her in her dreams tonight,
She misses me dearly and needs to know I’m all right.
Santa made his way to his sled, And wiped a tear from his eye.
He fell to his knees and managed to cry.
Merry Christmas to all the grieving mothers across this big land.
And let it be known your angels are with you holding your hands….”
Written by Joe’s mommy
Me with Violet Christmas 2015
Me with Violet Christmas 2015

A broken heart

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All I want for Christmas is… keyhole surgery – doesn’t really have that nice a ring to it does it?

For those of you who don’t know I have a broken heart, and no I’m not talking about the metaphorical one I’m always bleating on about after having lost two babies, but my actual physical heart.

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My discovery

I discovered it after I had lost Violet and was in the early stages of pregnancy with my first rainbow baby Arthur. I kept having dizzy spells and after my GP diagnosed an inner ear infection months earlier I thought nothing else about it until I saw a private consultant about something else and mentioned it. He said it sounded more like a blood pressure thing and so let’s check your heart. He did and low and behold it seems I have a congenital heart defect an ASD or hole in layman’s terms.

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Of course I have a broken heart

I just remember laughing when he told me and said “of course I have a broken heart my daughter just died”. He explained it’s probably been there since birth but I’d just not had the symptoms accurately diagnosed before.

He read all the symptoms to me and they are basically all the symptoms every new mother has. They include lethargy, tiredness, weakness, dizzy spells (which are common for me due to low blood pressure – Olympic athlete level) and breathlessness.

Exhaustion

Even pre-baby I had lots of these all the time but I just assumed I was unfit (even when I attended a gym and had a dog so walked hills regularly) i often felt exhausted but put that down to being lazy & having an insanely mad busy job.  Now I see there was clearly an underlining reason I hated PE at school, why I was rubbish at sport and maybe it was instinct that told me to cheat at cross country so I didn’t have to run? Apparently if I’d been an extreme sport enthusiast or a marathon runner I’d have collapsed.

Anyway this week I headed into hospital to have a much needed MRI scan (since the issue was spotted I have been pregnant pretty much ever since 😆 with my two rainbow babies so couldn’t have a scan). They are now deciding how to fix it, as if I don’t it will begin to deteriorate further and then will be unrepairable. So big moment really will it be a keyhole procedure or full open heart rib breaking surgery?

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Meh

It’s now dawning on me that this is a huge thing as I’ve always just shrugged it off with a meh what will be will be but now I’m like “oh shit let’s hope it’s not full open heart I need”? Quite like my rib cage as it is.

The black humour part of me says they’re going to fix my broken heart well good luck with that one what are they going to do bring Violet back? I wish! 💜 here’s hoping for good news from the specialist this Christmas.

What are you wishing for this Christmas?

Love Sarah xx

Always Violet Skies

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