Control freak

These last few weeks have been especially difficult for us as our rainbow baby is sick. We had to take her into hospital where she was diagnosed with pneumonia, which is what her sister died from. Back at home now luckily and she’s responding well to antibiotics but it is unbelievably stressful anyway without our history with her sister.

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A beautiful cloudy Violet sunset over our house last night

Lack of control

I realised a key reason for the stress of having a poorly child or loved one or heaven forbid their loss is the lack of control over the situation (unless you’re a murderer of course but that’s a different story!).

The fact you had no control in the end over whether they survived or not. You did everything you could possibly do but even that wasn’t enough and it is the acceptance that at the end of the day we really don’t have control over these things.

Poorly child

When our children are sick, again, it is the control issue that makes us super stressed. We can do everything we can possibly do to look after them. Give them antibiotics, fluid, pain relief, and take them to the doctors or to hospital. Listen to the “experts” and follow their guidance. Other than that there isn’t much more we can do. We are powerless and have to do our best then simply hope.

Violet-in-manchester-childrens-hospital-on-26th-Sept-2016-violet-skies
Violet in hospital the day she later died suddenly

Regaining control on life

I think that is why after the loss of Violet and then Arthur doing things I have control over helped me to regain a little of my sanity.

Managing a house renovation and extension project was something I could control. Rehabilitating a German Shepherd from being a working dog into a family household pet again I could do and get some comfort from. Setting up a fund in Violet’s memory and organising a charity ball again was something I could control and work at organising. We have now raised a total of £42,860 for Alder Hey Children’s Hospital.

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Photo of our house during the renovation with Dexter our GSD in shot too

More of a control freak

Yes I admit I am probably more of a control freak in some respects than perhaps other people but after speaking to a few others who have had to endure looking after sick children or unfortunately baby or child loss it is this loss of control that is a tricky one to deal with.

My advice is to try to do other things you can control to try to balance out those things that you simply can’t.

Big hugs and lots of love

Sarah

Always Violet Skies xx

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When you finally get your rainbow what then

Four years a mother

Surviving after child loss?

& Juliet

I was honoured to be invited along to the first performance of new musical “& Juliet” and in return I wanted to write a small review about it.

A varied audience

I went to see the show with some friends whose ages ranged from 10 to 50 so it was interesting to get a perspective on the production from each of them.

The general consensus was that it was a riot of lights, colour and music.  It is a show that is a great deal of fun with excellent comedic timing and some clever writing.  

Romeo & Juliet

The show’s pre text is that what would have happened if Juliet from Shakespeare’s famous Romeo & Juliet didn’t die alongside Romeo but went onto survive.  Cue some amazing songs about girl power written by the musical legend Max Martin who is only second to Lennon and McCartney in terms of top ten songs in the US.

The songs

Songs include Britney classics such as “Hit me Baby One More Time” and the Back Street Boys “I want it that way” plus lots of other classics from the naughties by Pink, Katy Perry and Bon Jovi.

Highlights

Highlights of the show were David Badella who placed Lance and Melanie La Barrie who played Nurse. Their chemistry and comedic timing was brilliant resulting in the entire audience in stitches of laughter especially with their performance of “Teenage Dream”.

Cassidy Janson who played Ann Hathaway was also amazing with a fabulous voice and great stage presence.

The solo performance by Arun Blair Mangat of “I’m not a girl.  Not yet a woman” was I thought the best vocal performance of the show.

The Amazing Cast of musical &Juliet at Manchester's Opera House
Review on Violet-Skies.com
The Amazing Cast of musical &Juliet at Manchester’s Opera House

Music volume

The volume of the music was unfortunately occasionally too loud and overshadowed the amazing vocals, which was a shame but hopefully that technical detail will have been adjusted for future performances now.

Shakespeare

At a time when theatre visits by 11-15 year olds are at an all time low shows such as this one should renew interest in the arts. Hopefully this musical will make Romeo & Juliet accessible to a new audience too.  A new audience that might not have seen Shakespeare before and might after this show consider taking another look.

A show for 2019

It was also a great show for 2019 showcasing exclusivity, equal rights and gender fluidity too.  It caused some members of the audience to seem a little uncomfortable with some parts but hopefully that means it will help to encourage new mind-sets and to provide a catalyst for important discussions too. 

In a year that has seen the Spice Girls reform and enjoy renewed mass hysteria from an audience that were barely out of nappies the first time around.  I think the timing for this rip roaring musical couldn’t be better.

There was something in it to appeal to each of my party’s varied ages so a definite must see from us whether you are 10 years old or 50 you will enjoy a thoroughly entertaining night out.

The show is running at Manchester Opera House until 12thOctober so get tickets while you still can here 

Love Sarah

Always Violet Skies xxx

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Anniversary dinner at L’Enclume

My story

September = New Beginnings

September = New Beginnings

From the age we first start school we are conditioned into the fact that September means new beginnings so much so that as adults, even when we have no school age children and are no longer in education ourselves, September can often still seem exciting as we prepare for autumn with new clothes, new stationary and a renewed focus for the future. This has always been the case for me.  I loved school even more so a new notebook, accessories and clothes that came with it!

Enjoying a beer with friends & catching the last of the September sun

A New Beginning no one wants

September equalled new beginnings.  I could always look at this month in a positive way until 3 years ago when that new beginning first came to equal a negative “new beginning” no one wants to ever face. That new beginning was the loss of my daughter and the new beginning that year was trying to carry on with some semblance of life without her in it.  No one ever wants that kind of new beginning and this has become my biggest on going challenge to date.  It’s tough really tough and never ending.  Yes it was nearly 3 years ago but it feels like yesterday one minute and like a scene from a movie about someone else’s life in the next.

Violet September 2016 the day she died

Another horrendous September

Then the following September after our annus horribilis we faced another “new beginning” to add to the stress of the one the previous year.  This was the loss of a much-wanted son that came out of the blue with shocking news for me accompanying it and so we had to arrange a second child’s funeral in our second stressful September “new beginning”.

Arthur’s Giraffe that now belongs to Aurora his little sister

Bringing control back

So last September I organised the Violet Ball to take back control of my Septembers and that year’s “new beginning” was a black tie charity event for 200 people to raise funds for Alder Hey children’s hospital.  Which as an experienced PR is the kind of event I have organised before but this time with a 6-week-old new born baby in tow event organisation wise that was a first for me!

The Violet Ball September 2018

An exciting New Beginning

This September we decided not to do a charity ball as we agreed we needed a summer to relax and decompress rather than run around finalising an event. I was dreading finding out what this year’s “new beginning” for September would be.  But you know what this year’s is actually a positive (hopefully) and challenging one as I got asked to become a part time Associate Lecturer at MMU Business school teaching marketing.   New starts and exciting new beginnings that are positive is exactly what I needed and I might treat myself to a new notebook.

Hope your September’s have been successful and less stressful ones too.

Keep positive

Love Sarah

Always Violet Skies xxx

You might be interested in these other blog posts –

Four years a mother

My authentic self

What happens after your rainbow

Back to school – Why this time of year irritates me?

In early September when kids start or go back to school it’s not so much the hundreds of photos of them lined up in front of either a front door or a fireplace that irritates me but more the stupid comment(s) that accompany them. So to save me from adding a passive aggressive and brutally honest blunt comment in reply to some of these posts I decided instead to write this, so hopefully if you care you will read this and think before you write that irritating social media post.

My aunty Jenny’s gorgeous front door – without a child in a school uniform

Here are those comments

“I wish he or she would stop growing” errr no you don’t because that would mean they would die and then be dead like my daughter who remains 15 months forever.

“Oh they’re growing too fast” at least they are growing there are lots of parents out there whose babies are sick and not growing fast enough. Be thankful you’re not them and don’t insult these parents by complaining when your child is healthy and thriving.

“Oh I wish they would stay as babies forever” errr no you don’t see my earlier comment above. Would you like it if they died then they would always be a baby?

“I miss when they were little” that’s why taking photos is so important but be thankful you don’t just miss them because they are no longer with you.

My fireplace without a child in a school uniform in front of it – “Back to school”

“It’s all going too fast.” You know what life tends to go fast when you’re enjoying and/or loving things. Try sitting in a hospital chair next to a sick child and your days seem to drag on and on. Or heavens forbid sit next to their grave. There are lots of parents sat in hospital with their school age child who is too sick to attend school and I can tell you their days just drag on. They would give anything to be doing a school drop off instead and waving goodbye to a child at the school gate rather than in an isolation ward as they nip to the loo.

“I wish time would stop” no you don’t because then you would be dead. Do you want your child or family to grow up without you? Think how extremely lucky you are to be alive now and living in the reality you have. Embrace every second and live in the present not the future because you certainly don’t want to be living in the past or to only be alive in someone else’s past.

Share those photos

So folks if you feel the need to share photos of your little darlings in their school uniforms to celebrate that they are growing, healthy and happy. To thank the universe that they were born to you in a country with free healthcare and education, so they can actually go to school then great share away. But please out of respect to those of us not in as privileged a position as you don’t wish for your children to stop growing, for time to stop or say that you are upset they are going to school. Be happy and be grateful. Appreciate the now and embrace the moment because you are right about one thing it isn’t happening again. Relish the time and moments. Take the photos, make the memories and remember to feel happy not sad. Embrace this exciting new chapter in you and your child’s life – hopefully there will be many more yet to come too.

A front door without a child in a school uniform – “back to school”

I know a hell of a lot of people who would love to be buying a new school uniform, waving their child off at the school gate and at the end of the day hearing all about how their first day went. Myself included. This September Violet should have been starting Primary School and that she isn’t hurts us beyond belief. We would do anything to have her here now. We know as a little book worm at 15 months that she would have loved going to school. So if your child is attending school this September be thankful and celebrate it but don’t for a second wish for something different.

Big love, Sarah

Always Violet Skies x

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My authentic self

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A Sick Groundhog day

So our little rainbow baby had her one-year inoculations the other day so we had a few days of high temperatures, a distressed clingy baby, waking every half an hour over night and whimpering in her sleep.  It can be tough as a parent with a sick or teething child anytime but if you’re a parent who has experienced child loss then this can feel like a sick version of Groundhog Day.

Violet

Our first born Violet died suddenly at 15 months old and looking back her health slowly deteriorated over her final months so slowly we didn’t really notice it until it was almost too late and then it was too late.

The last photo ever taken of our gorgeous Violet the morning of the day she died in Manchester Children’s Hospital playing with a balloon.

Rainbow baby

Our rainbow baby, Aurora Violet’s baby sister is now approaching 13 months old so we are ultra sensitive to any slight change in her behaviour, routinely checking her temperature and we whisk her to see the GP as soon as she coughs more than a few times. Over protective parents have nothing on us!

A sleeping Aurora – our rainbow baby

Violet in her final months started sleeping a lot worse than she did before and we assumed she was waking because of hunger but discovered on admission into hospital that it was because her oxygen levels were plummeting.  Aurora is displaying similar sleeping patterns so we’re awaiting sleep study equipment to monitor and check her oxygen levels while she sleeps.

Our rainbow baby has an appointment with a top lung specialist too, even though as yet she currently doesn’t have anything wrong with her chest (that we can tell).  It makes us feel better that she will be double-checked. You may think “what a waste of that consultants time if there’s nothing wrong with her” and someone expressed that to me.

The Why

Well her sister saw countless GPs, several paediatricians at two different hospitals, several accident and emergency consultants, a variety of different registrars at Manchester Children’s Hospital, with varying levels of qualification and experience.  Yet not one of them managed to accurately diagnose Violet while she was alive.  It wasn’t until after a full coroners inquest nearly 2 years after her death that we even found out what the issue had been.  This top lung specialist was supposed to see Violet when she was in hospital but she died before he got around to seeing her and perhaps he may have diagnosed her or not we will never know.

It can be tough as a parent with a sick or teething child anytime but if you’re a parent who has experienced child loss then this can feel like a sick version of Groundhog Day. Violet-Skies.com
Violet in Manchester Children’s Hospital aged 15 months old.

So I’m not sorry in the slightest if by now playing the “my dead baby” card means that my rainbow gets the best specialist healthcare because you know what she and we bloody well deserve it.   I have paid my taxes (as have my family all our lives) and we fully support funding the NHS which yes needs more funding today so babies like Violet don’t die in hospital while waiting to see a specialist.

Until you have been in our shoes and watched your child deteriorate, suffer and then die in front of you whilst no one has an explanation as to why.  Then come object to me but until then I will stand and scream if I have to until I know my child is safe, healthy and happy.

If your child is ill too let me know as I’m happy to advise or scream for them too.  

The Maybes

Maybe we didn’t shout loud enough with Violet?  Maybe we didn’t kick up enough of a stink?  Maybe I should have bundled her into my car when I decided Manchester Children’s Hospital weren’t doing a good enough job and driven her to Alder Hey hospital?  

Well you know what this time if I need to then I bloody well will and god help any healthcare admin person who dares stand in my way!

The NHS

Have you ever had to question healthcare professionals?   During Violet’s short lifetime we experienced the very best of the NHS and the very worst too.  What are your experiences?

Big love,

Sarah

Always Violet Skies x

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Party girl

Grief is like being shipwrecked

What’s in a name?

I was quite shocked by a conversation I had with an elderly lady when out and about with my rainbow baby. Perhaps she didn’t like the name Aurora but what do you think?

The conversation

This lady stopped me in a supermarket to coo and ahhh over her asking as most people do whether she was my only one or not.  I said no she is my third baby but unfortunately her sister and brother died.

The lady said she was sorry to hear that and what was her sister called.  When I said Violet she remarked about how pretty that name was. Then she said “so is that what this little one is called then Violet”.  I said no she was called Aurora but she did have her sister’s name as a middle name thinking maybe the lady had gotten confused or misheard me perhaps.

Our rainbow has her sister’s middle name in memory

She then said “what was Violet’s middle name”.  I said Elizabeth and she said “oh that’s a shame as Violet Elizabeth is such a beautiful name I’d have used it again”.  I was stunned.  Why on earth would I name my second daughter exactly the same as my first as though she’s a replacement?  I was dumbfounded.  I didn’t know what to say and just smiled then walked off.

Violet – a wonderful friend bought me this illustration

Where has this come from?

Then I decided to do some research into why she even had this belief and discovered during the Victorian era when child mortality was very high then giving a child the same name as a deceased older sibling was in fact quite common, especially if the child had been named after a parent.  If you look through archives you’ll often see multiple children with the same Christian name in a family.  I assume perhaps this elderly lady came from a family that had done just this so she felt it was a normal practise.

Some people are weird

I also think that some people are just weird.  I remember someone telling me that as a child her family’s dog was called “Ben” and today her family’s dog is still called “Ben”.  There have in fact been 6 Ben’s altogether.  To me that is very strange but even more so to do that with a child.

What do you think? Would you give all your pets the same name? Would you use the same name again and again for a baby?

Love Sarah

Always Violet Skies x

You might also be interested in reading the following –

Grief is like being shipwrecked

Grief, anxiety and confidence

Breaking the news of child loss to an old friend

Garden inspiration from Morocco

After our extension last year we are now we’re looking at the next stage of renovation of our home. Looking at decorating the original rooms in the house and thinking of ideas to transform our garden.

Some of my photos

18 months ago we visited Morocco and I took copious photos of the amazing Moroccan architecture.

Stunning walkway at the side of a courtyard in Bahia Palace

I have been scrolling through them for ideas and they are so stunning I just had to share.

Bahia Palace – Marrakech

These photos are from the Bahia Palace in Marrakech so stunning and such amazing outdoor spaces, the perfect way to fuse inside and outside together.

What do you think of these? Stunning hey?

Gorgeous courtyard within the Bahia Palace

Limoni restaurant

Lots of the cafes and restaurants also had very beautiful interiors such as Limoni restaurant in Marrakech that had the prettiest little outdoor courtyard with lemon trees and mosaics. See below so pretty isn’t it?

Yves Saint Laurent garden

Then we visited the amazing Yves Saint Laurent museum and the stunning garden attached with vibrant Moroccan blue as the stand out colour.  Here are some photos

Garden ideas

I adore these mosaics but feel they won’t really work in suburban Chorlton. The blue can be transferred though. Is it too bright for the side of our shed do you think?  

There are a few little Moroccan touches I’ve found that you can add into a garden from the high street.  Here are my best picks…

There are lots of sale bargains out there at the moment and I bet more still to come so have a look out over the next few weeks.

What are you coveting at the moment?

Happy shopping!

Love Sarah

Always Violet Skies x

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My authentic self?

A fellow blogger recently launched her own hashtag challenge #julyyourway and the first day was entitled “your authentic self”. I realised I no longer knew exactly who I was anymore and decided I needed to write this post in case some of you loss mums or parents are the same.

Who am I?

I don’t actually recognise myself anymore. I can tell you all about the old me in great detail as I spent 39 years with her.

The old me

The old me was strong, determined, unwavering and a great calculated risk taker.  Her instincts about people and situations were nearly always right. The type of person you could drop into a room of total strangers and she’d be fine chatting to them making friends pretty quickly. If someone told her she couldn’t do something she’d make it her mission to prove them wrong.  One of life’s dreamers believing in positive thinking and that with the right mindset you can achieve anything. Always working towards a vision of the future and undertaking the next challenge. Underneath the confidence she genuinely cared about all those she met, worked with and spent time with. It took me a long time to get to know, appreciate and love the old me.

The original me pre babies – happy go lucky (most of the time)

Where did she go?

What happened you might ask that would fundamentally change your personality permanently well like most new mums four years ago I lost myself a little after the birth of Violet.  All new mums will relate to the fact that usually you immediately become more risk adverse as your instincts to protect kick in and your self-confidence takes a knock too as your body shape changes. However most mums will tell you that maybe a year or two later they rediscover themselves again building up that old confidence. Their core self is fundamentally unchanged.

That happened to me too.  I was starting to rediscover the old me again in September 2016 then the unthinkable happened.

Mummy me in NZ with Aurora

Child loss

When you lose a child they say your world changes, life is completely altered and things will never be the same again. 

The air is completely knocked out of you but what you don’t realise is with the air goes your personality, as you knew it.  All your hopes and dreams, your confidence, trust in yourself and others, All the things you’ve literally spent a lifetime developing, building & honing are wiped away in a moment. All the negative things cling on such as self-doubt, negativity, criticism, depression but the good things…

Me 1.0

The old me was confident, fun and had a wicked sense of humour.  She was lovely to her core because she genuinely believed there was more love in the world than bad.  She truly believed in positivity and only saw the good in people. She believed in what her gut or core instinct told her about people and situations.  She actually believed that eventually life will come good and that good things happen to good people.  Work hard try your best and believe in others then good things will happen.  She always looked for the silver lining in every black cloud. It never failed her until the day her daughter died.

Try a reboot

At first you think these stronger qualities are still there just diminished like they were post-child birth. Just like when you’ve had set backs or heartbreak in the past? Like a hard drive that just needs a reboot. You try to do that to reboot yourself by trying similar things you’ve done in the past to recover like rest, holidays and seeing loved ones.  Over and over you try in vain to recover.  Eventually you discover that these qualities aren’t dormant any more.  They aren’t still there to be rebooted they’ve been completely wiped out. It’s like you’ve had a computer virus in your brain that’s wiped out the useful things leaving only that photo of you from a beach holiday 10 years ago that you didn’t even like and the only email messages that have been retained are spam ones about PPI.

A reboot for us often involves travel but we’ve been round the world again and still no sign of the old me

Memories

You have a vague memory of the old you but it’s hard to imagine now you were ever that person.  I can only explain it by saying that it’s as though I’m viewing an old movie about someone else. I miss her. I’d spent years trying to learn to love myself, to be confident in my own skin. This confident me enabled me to be very good at what I did career wise, especially as I was able to juggle twice as much work as anyone else and easily did 16 hour days regularly. I was a caring considerate person who loved life and loved having fun. I really did work hard play hard and excelled at it.

A shell

Now that person is gone. Yes physically I look the same. I still have the same cognitive abilities (sleep deprivation affected maybe but I can still ace an IQ test or two). I even the same memories but I feel as though I’m looking in at someone else.  I miss the old me but after over 2 years of trying to get her back I’ve realised that she’s “left the building” never to return. I’ve accepted that I need to build up these qualities in myself from the beginning again, to build the new me. 

I still look like the old me just with a few more lines and wrinkles (and bags from no sleep!)

Still a central core

I’d forgotten how I used to be really strong.  There’s a central core of that original strength left that’s hardened up, so much that it takes a lot for me to cry now but every so often a bit of it crumbles. This core is still surrounded by kindness and compassion just not the huge volume I used to have. This has been coloured by grief and the realisation that really bad things can happen to good people.  Karma doesn’t exist and positive thinking will only get you so far.  

The new me comes with a great deal of darkness the old me didn’t have. This has shaped my sense of humour so it is very dark now. I don’t trust my own gut instincts anymore, as these have been proven wrong twice with the very worst results. I also no longer trust others especially those in the medical profession where I now take what they tell me with a pinch of salt.

Imagination

Luckily over the last 2 years that I have been hitting reboot I have seen some of my wacky creativity come back and my ability to speak to total strangers on some days now is almost as good as it was. Although I find it extremely hard to tolerate fools and I seem to have become even less diplomatic than before so I can be quite honest and frank now.  This is of course a work in progress.  Some things like confidence and speaking to strangers just takes practise and stepping out of your comfort zone.  That’s at least one good outcome in that I don’t really have a comfort zone rather a numb achy uncomfortable zone.

Version 2.0: Post child loss

Unfortunately unlike computer software I don’t think “version 2.0: after child loss” will be an upgrade on the one before. Hopefully I’ll eventually be able to patch over some of the holes and maybe even rebuild a few of the qualities the old me had that were great. It will take time though as it took 38 years of hard work to develop the old me.  

Feel free to check in with me again at age 79 and we can see if the old me has returned just a wrinklier version.

On the positive side it has changed my outlook on life instead of planning for and looking to the future I try to live in the present. To enjoy the here and now making the most of every moment as I understand just how short life is.

Do you ever feel you have changed? Is it for the better or worse?

Thanks for reading

Big love,

Sarah

Always Violet Skies x

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The founder of #julyyourway is blogger Holly Goes Lightly join in on instagram!

Ten Top tips for flying with a baby

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After travelling over 22,000 miles from UK to New Zealand and back via Singapore and Bali with a 7-month-old baby Violet in 2016. Then doing the same trip again with an 8-month-old baby Aurora this time taking in Singapore, Australia and Hong Kong too we now have some top tips for anyone flying with a baby.

Request a bassinet

If your airline is long haul then you should be able to request a bassinet for your baby which will mean you will need bulkhead seats so make sure you select these when checking in and choosing seats online.  A bassinet will prove useful not just for when your baby sleeps but they can be propped up to play with toys too. Noise cancelling headphones are a great idea if your baby wakes easily (as modelled by Aurora in earlier photo!).

img_8979
Violet sleeping on the way to New Zealand in 2016

Outfit change

It goes without saying that you will have spare outfits for baby. Make sure you have extra clothes for yourself in your hand luggage near your feet. There’s nothing worse than having to sit covered in baby vomit for the entire of take off/landing plus then 30 minutes of turbulence because the seat belt seat is still on.

Sleep suits and onesies we’d recommend for flying plus a zip up fleece or dressing gown anything snuggly and easy to remove.  Layers and press studs are your friends.

20160221_102115
Violet in her fleece & onesie watching the Snoopy film on the way home from Singapore

Hats

We’d recommend packing a cotton hat for your baby as airline air conditioning can be fierce. Surprisingly the vents seem to be above the bulk head seating so right near the bassinet.

Mini-change bag

If you’re on a long haul flight then a smaller change bag will be handier. We bought one that was a mat that folded out with room for 2 nappies, wipes and change of clothing.  It fitted into the seat pocket so saved time and easy to grab in a rush.

Extra muslin cloths & baby carrier

Take the large ones as these are multi-functional serving as dribble wipers, blankets if baby gets chilly, a stand in change mat, sunshade or a scarf for mummy!

Pack a small sling or baby carrier in your carry on luggage as they are handy for airport transfers. Disembarking down plane steps safely especially if they are slippy without having to worry about holding a wriggly baby is priceless. Also they are helpful if your airline fails to deliver your stroller to the gate as promised.

Lounge access

If you are flying long haul and transferring on your journey then it might be worth investing in the use of an airport lounge. This can make a big difference when it comes to heating milk, food and changing your baby in a relaxed environment.  Often lounge access isn’t too pricey either if you book in advance.

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Violet just chilling on the reception desk in Singapore

On-board dining

Some cabin crew will have the good sense to ask you if you’re travelling with another adult and if you’d like your meals to be staggered so you both get to eat by swapping baby duties.  This is a great idea and why not ask if this is possible when you board the plane.

Hand sanitising gel or spray

These no water needed hand sanitisers are a god send when you are on an airplane and its difficult to access a toilet to clean up before food.

Toys, toys and lots of toys!

Again it goes without saying but the more you have for your little one to do the better. We had a set of toys and books easily accessible for on board the first plane. Then another set in our other carry on so we could swap them over for the second connecting flight so she wouldn’t get bored. The toys you can clip to a pram are best as you can attach them to the bassinet or airline seat belt so they don’t get lost under airline seats.

img_8980
Violet sitting playing with toys in the bassinet while I eat breakfast!

Relax

Finally I advise you to relax. Yes it sounds ridiculous to say this when you’re flying with a baby, possibly feeling totally stressed out like all evil eyes are on you the passenger from hell. Try your hardest to also make the journey as relaxing and as enjoyable for yourself. Your baby will pick up on your vibes so smile and see it as an adventure.  Experience it through their eyes so the journey is exciting and new!

Happy flying!

Sarah

Always Violet Skies x

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Top tips for keeping baby cool in the heat

10 Top tips to keep baby cool in the heat of summer

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A few days ago I visited Prague with my 11 month old rainbow baby. Ordinarily I wouldn’t go away in the heat of the summer as we prefer to holiday in autumn, winter or spring but hubby was on a conference for work so rather than staying home alone with baby for a week I opted to go over too.

Unfortunately we chose the hottest summer days on record for the Czech Republic for our visit which was stifling especially when lots of places there didn’t have air conditioning. Keeping baby cool was a challenge so I thought I’d share my top tips in case they’re useful for the rest of you.

Ice cubes for play time

If you’re out and about it can be hard to both entertain and keep an active baby cool. My top tip for this is to order a glass of ice cubes whenever you stop for a drink or food then baby can play and suck the ice. Having fun and cooling down at the same time.

Ice cubes the perfect baby toy to keep them cool on hot summer days – Aurora in Prague

Chew toys in fridge

If your baby like mine is teething then keep their teething toys in the fridge over night then they will be nice and cold for chewing in the daytime. A cool bag is a good investment for when you’re travelling as you can not only use it to store food and drink but also teething toys and cloths (see my next tip!).

Top Tips for keeping baby cool - Aurora chewing a chilled octopus teething toy
Top Tips for keeping baby cool – Aurora chewing a chilled octopus teething toy

Cold damp muslin cloths

If you’re heading out into hot weather I find chilling damp muslin cloths to take out with you can help to keep baby cool in their buggy. I even wrapped some ice cubes in the cloths and popped two either side of baby in her push chair when I had to venture out in 37 degree heat.

Large muslin cloths are a great investment to take out underneath the pram as when I needed to cool baby down rinsing one under cool water then placing over baby’s legs can help to cool them quickly.

Pram with sun shield factor 50+

It’s worth when you invest in a pram or buggy for travel that you get one that has sun protection built into the sun shade. Ours has factor 50 in the canopy of it which comes in really handy when we travel abroad as we then know even it we can’t find shade baby can sit in the buggy and will be protected from the sun.

Violet modelling the pram with built in sun canopy SPF50

Sun shade for snoozing

Another top investment tip is to buy a Snooze shade cover that is SPF 50 that will stretch over a buggy, pram or car set to protect baby safely while they sleep. The one we have folds down into a small pouch you can pop under the pram or into a change bag easily for travel.

Lots of people mistakenly cover their prams with muslin cloths or blankets to shade their babies but inadvertently increase the temperature raising it to dangerous levels that could cause death. Please for the sake of £20 invest in a proper shade cover.

Aurora modelling the snooze shade in her car seat in Barcelona

Home made fruit juice lollies

If you’re at home in the heat then you can make fruit and vegetable lollies easily for baby. You can even use ice cube trays for this. If your baby is refusing food because of the heat then this is a great way to encourage them to eat something.

Keep wet wipes in the fridge

This is an easy top tip that when I thought of it I couldn’t believe I hadn’t down it before. A cold wet wipe can be the perfect way to easily cool your baby down after time in the heat again you can keep these in a cool bag when you go out too.

Pop up play tents

A pop up sun tent with SPF50 is a great investment for play time on the beach or even in your garden at home. They fold flat so can easily be popped into a suit case.

Example sun tent from Amazon.co.uk £23 well worth the investment for days at the beach

Paddling pool DIY

If you’re travelling and baby is hot sometimes you dream of having their paddling pool from home. Recreate this easily in the sink of where you’re staying or even buy a cheap bucket or washing up bowl from a local store you can use as a little paddling pool to cool them down.

Ice cubes in front of a fan

At night without air conditioning it can be hard to keep baby cool. If you have a fan pointed towards them anyway then place a bowl or ice cubes in front of it so the air is chilled before it reaches baby. Or even place the bowl below the open window the breeze is come from. Home made air conditioning!

It goes without saying that sun protection is always a must for baby as are sun hats and protective clothing where best.

Happy travelling and keep cool guys!

Love Sarah

Always Violet Skies x

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