Four years a mother

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So four years have passed since I first became a mother since then there have been many ups and downs.

Happy 4th Birthday to our darling daughter

Ups

The ups have included meeting and getting to know two baby daughters. We travelled round the world with both our daughters having lots of adventures. 

A sleeping Violet on Singapore airlines en route to New Zealand

Our first Violet survived for 15 months and the second Aurora who is thriving, approaching her first birthday. Then in between there was Arthur who we never got to meet properly but held him in our arms when he was born sleeping at 22 weeks. 

Downs

The downs have unfortunately seen us nurse a poorly baby, wave her off for open heart surgery, sit beside her on two separate occasions in hospital and then unfortunately watch her die. Then we had the trauma of a funeral and subsequent coroner’s inquest to try to find out why nearly two years later.  We also had to make the difficult decision of TFMR seeing us say goodbye to our much wanted baby boy Arthur (read more about it here).

Even though the past 4 years have seen the most traumatic times of my life they have also been some of my happiest so if I had the choice to change things and not become a mother I would refuse. I’d take the pain in exchange for the joy everyday.

Aurora playing with a Violet balloon at the Chorlton Communities celebration

Last few weeks

The last few weeks have been quite tough emotionally, so please forgive my break in posting on here. I did question whether to continue sharing with you all or not and then I got this message through this website

“I hope that this finds you well and that you don’t mind me writing to you.
I am so very sorry to hear about the losses of Violet and Arthur, I cannot even imagine what you have gone through and still continue to go through. I just wanted you to know that reading your work has given me comfort and made me feel a great deal less alone during my own sleepless nights during the last two months, and to say thank you to you for this. I had a tfmr in early April and my husband and I lost our desperately wanted and adored little boy at almost 22 weeks gestation (the first child for both of us).”

This wonderful message reminded me why I started this and how important it is. If I can help at least one person to feel less alone then it’s a success I think.  

Wonderful friends

A wonderful friend from my past also got in touch making a large donation to Violet’s fund out of the blue meaning we have now smashed the set target to buy a cardio echo machine at £37k and what she said to me meant a great deal too.

“Your story has touched me for so long and when I seen the message on the alder hey group last night I wanted to help. With violets birthday coming up soon you will be able to give them that much needed equipment in her name. Stay strong Sarah you have inspired so many women including me xxx”

The birthday party organised for Violet by the amazing Meg at her nursery

So to her and all those people who have held events or done amazing things in memory of my beautiful, should be 4 years old, daughter a massive thank you. You are all fantastic and this keeps me standing.

Love Sarah

Always Violet Skies x

You might also find the following posts interesting –

When you get your rainbow what then?

Mothering after loss

Making over Motherhood

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